Celibate Same-Sex Relationships Are Also Sinful, Apparently…

One of the major ‘open secrets’ about the ex-gay movement is that it generally doesn’t ‘turn people straight’, and most ex-gay organisations will admit that truly changing one’s sexual orientation is extremely difficult, if not impossible, in the majority of cases. Generally speaking, ‘change’ amounts to being celibate, attempting to suppress attraction to the same sex and hoping that God eventually decides to make you straight. This might seem like a pretty lonely, unfulfilling life, and I imagine it is for a lot of people. (This may explain why so many ex-gays I’ve spoken to seem incredibly fixated on Jesus or their church, far more so than most ‘ordinary’ Christians.) But what about a relationship that doesn’t involve sex? Surely that would be acceptable?

You’d certainly think so, and if I was a devout Christian I’d probably want to be in this sort of relationship. After all, homosexuality is far more than just physical attraction; gay men and women gain the same sort of emotional fulfillment from same-sex relationships that heterosexuals do from opposite-sex ones, and at the end of the day that’s far more important than having a lot of sex. It is incredibly unreasonable to expect people to refrain from having sex for (potentially) the rest of their lives, and to refrain from engaging in the kinds of long-term relationships that they find most fulfilling, yet that’s exactly what Alan Chambers, the president of Exodus International, has done:

During lunch, my friend asked my views on “covenant friendships”.  I’d never heard that term, but quickly realized she was referring to sexless committed relationships between members of the same gender.  I immediately called them sinful.  She was shocked.  So was I. Apparently, we don’t share what I consider to be fairly cut and dry biblical position on this issue. So I asked her to give me a first hand account of such a relationship that she saw as healthy.  She went on to share the story of a Christian lesbian who believes that homosexual behavior is sinful, but holds no hope of ever experiencing heterosexuality. The thought of living a single life was too much for her to bear and so she developed a committed non-sexual relationship with another woman. They held a commitment ceremony, bought a house together, combined their finances and are trying to live happily ever after.  They live in separate bedrooms, but in every other sense of the word, they are partners. “What’s wrong with that?” my friend asked. Everything. (Source)

Chambers goes on to say that such ‘covenant friendships’ are against God’s plan for humans and represent a failing on the part of gay Christians to trust in God’s transformative power. Bullshit, I say. Just how much of their lives does he expect his peers to sacrifice? And just what kind of relationships are they allowed to engage in – ordinary friendships and nothing more? Not only can they not have sex, they apparently can’t love anyone unless that person has been vetoed by the Bible. He’s living in a fantasy land, where religious brainwashing can take the place of a genuinely loving relationship. This is an appalling example of how reppressive religion can be, and it presents a very bleak picture indeed for homosexuals who don’t want to abandon their religious beliefs.

It’s a twisted religion indeed that preaches mindless, eternal devotion to any god, but gay Christians suffer worse than the majority. Not only are they expected to fill every need in their lives with God (an utter impossibility), but they’re expected to abstain from the human relationships that heterosexual Christians are encouraged to enjoy. Why? What possible reason could any deity have for such arbitrary cruelty?

And when I say ‘mindless, eternal devotion’, this is what I mean (courtesy of GCMWatch):

C’mon, cut the comedy! “A little leaven leaveneth the whole lump”. It is MOVING INwith temptation. It’s like a sex addict moving accross the street from a porno shop. Like an alcoholic getting a job in a liquor store. All this is is an attempt to get around the truth of scripture. The sexual realtionship is a side effect of the heart’s intention. The real issue with the LORD is a pure heart and a pure heart wants to please the LORD in every way ;even if there is struggle and pain and disappointment involved. The way is narrow. In the greek the word narrow means “tight”.

This is intellectual slavery, but people like Alam Chambers want to celebrate inequality even among slaves.

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1 Response to “Celibate Same-Sex Relationships Are Also Sinful, Apparently…”


  1. 1 Name March 28, 2009 at 12:44 am

    Most people think that it is the physical act of homosexuality that is important to God but the reality is that it is the intent of the heart that matters. God is all about the intent of the heart.

    When an adult bathes a small child it is not considered pedophilia; neither is it considered a sexual act when a man or woman visits their doctor for an internal exam. But if the act of touching someone’s genitalia was with a different intent then the issue of sin comes into play.

    I have to wonder why two individuals who believe they should not have sex together must take some form of a “covenant vow”. They could be very close and best freinds for life with no biblical restrictions, so why get all weird about it…unless there was something biblically sinful going on in the heart–like sinful sexual desires unacted on?

    I liken it to a form of adultery in which one partner engages in an “emotional affair” with a co-worker or someone online, yet never enters into a physical relationship with them.

    It doesn’t have to be acted on to be wrong. I don’t wish to argue about whether homosexuality is right or wrong, but for those who do see it as against scripture I don’t see how they could justify all the weirdness of a nonsexual marital vow between same sex people. It is completely pointless.


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